You Set Me Free
by dqmwartist
Summary: Colleen begins her friendship with Jared after the events in Ladies Night are behind them. Brian goes off with Sully to plant the acorns he found, giving them new life. Michaela deals with the aftermath of Dorothy's operation.
1. Chapter 1

You Set Me Free

© 2013 by dqmwartist

Colleen

I looked up from helping to lay down the quilt and spotted Jared coming towards me. _What's he coming over here for_, I thought. _Even though we're friends he still makes me a bit uncomfortable_.

"Hi, Jared," I called out with a smile.

"Hey, Colleen," Jared replied as he made his way closer to me. _I watched as he knelt down beside me_. "Can I ask ya something?"

"Sure," I replied nervously, as I stared down at the pattern on the quilt for a moment, before looking back up.

"What'd ya say to going down to the creek for some fun?" Jared looked nervous and seemed to really want to spend time with me, judging by the fact that he kept picking at the grass. "Alice and them are coming, too," he added with a smile, probably to sway my answer towards yes.

"Maybe," I replied. _Alice and I aren't exactly the best of friends and I'm not sure I wanna go anyway. _

Jared studied me as if he wanted to know what I was thinking as well and with a look that said he wanted me to be there because it would be a fun time. Although I could tell by the way my brow furrowed just before I looked back up at him that he knew not to pry any further.

A moment later Becky showed up. "Hey Colleen, are you gonna come down to the creek with us? We're gonna play knurr and spell. It's a ball and stick game. Sounds like so much fun, don't it?"

I looked up at Becky, who was smiling happily as if the boy she'd cared for had just asked her to the Sweetheart's Dance. "I was just…." _I can't do this, as much as she would want me to be there I just can't._

"Just think about it some, ok?" Jared piped in as if he sensed I wasn't ready to give him an answer just yet. _Maybe he'll give me some time to think things over first_.

"Thanks for invitin' me, I'll be sure to let you know my answer," I replied forcing myself to look right at Jared and mean it. _I'd rather be home studying or reading a good book; however it does sound like fun_, I thought to myself for a moment.

Jared took that as his cue to get up and leave, "See ya at school, Colleen."

"See ya," I answered back happily and then watched as Becky, still all smiles, left with Jared. _ How is it that they've become such fast friends? Becky knows full well what Jared did to me, yet that ain't stoppin' her none. _

Once they disappeared I began to search for my book, "Now where did I put it?" I mumbled to myself as I looked around the blanket wondering where I'd set it down. "Ah, there it is. Now where was I?"

Brian

I stared down at the acorns I still held in my hand, letting the impact of the words Ma had spoken sink in. _"When that tree gets to be a hundred, it doesn't matter that you're not here to see it. What matters is today. Today you held a hundred years in your hand." _I hadn't stopped to think that trees could grow up to be so old and that here I am holding the beginning of those years. Sure is a lot to take in.

I then walked over to Sully, "Hey can you help me?" _I very much want to give the acorns in my pocket life, including the one still in my hand. _

"Sure," Sully replied without hesitation. _I bet he knows some a great spots where I can plant my acorns, and maybe he'll let me plant one near the new homestead._

"Thanks, Sully," I replied as we headed off toward the creek.

"You're doin' a good thing plantin' new life," he said and I smiled up at him, grateful and happy he was helping me out. Sully's been the closet thing I've had to a pa in years, and I sure am happy to have him around.

As we neared the creek, I could hear the familiar sound of water rushing and frogs croaking to each other. I love coming down here to fish, and now the tree I'm about to plant will add to the pleasure of my visits.

Sully helped me find a nice place, making sure wherever it was the roots would take hold and it would grow tall and strong. Using the stick he was carrying, I helped to dig a hole in the ground, while he alternated between using his hands and the stick.

"Think we can come back here, Sully, and check on my tree?" I asked. _I wanna see how big my tree will get,_ I mused for a moment. "Sure, Brian we can do that. And your ma was right; other generations will be able to enjoy it, too."

I then took a moment, to look around at all the other tall trees before turning back to the one I'd just planted. "Grow strong now, little acorn. Grow big and tall so maybe one day I can come here and climb on your branches."

I could tell Sully was touched by my words when I looked back up again and found him holding back tears. _He's told me how I've got a real way with people, and it looks like my words have resonated with him._ When all was said and done, I got up and we walked back to the meadow.

By the time Sully and I got back, Colleen was sitting quietly on the blanket, absorbed in a book and not really paying much attention to our surroundings. After Jared had come by with Becky, I noticed she didn't feel much like socializing.

"Where's Ma?" I inquired the moment we were within earshot of Colleen. "I want to tell her all about the planting."

"She went off with Miss Dorothy a while ago," Colleen answered, without looking up.

"Oh," I answered feeling a little disappointment. "I'm sure she'd be real happy to hear about it later, Brian," Sully added hoping to cheer me up.

"Good, 'cause I can't wait to tell her."

Michaela

My eyes filled up with tears at Sully's words to me, _"I know what you're thinkin', and the answer's yes. I'll always love you, no matter what happens. I'll always find you as beautiful as the first day I saw you." _Iwanted so much to say something in return but the words wouldn't come. I had learned from Dorothy how Jake didn't look at her the same way anymore since the operation. He no longer saw her as a whole woman and all the time the story poured out I could see the sadness in her eyes.

"Thank you, Sully," I murmured when I finally found my voice. "I feel like I've been through so much and haven't had a chance to…" He quieted me with a gentle kiss on the cheek, "Ya don't have to explain to me." I rose from the dressing table and let Sully hold me close while the unshed tears fell freely down my face.

He knew how much I wanted to save Dorothy and how much it hurt her when she hadn't wanted the operation. Sully understood it was her decision as to what she did with her body; convincing me of that hadn't been easy.

"You tellin' her that ya were her friend first and that ya love her was brave." I sniffed, "Sully that was so hard for me to do. I wasn't sure if I could…" With a soothing hand he let his hand fall through my hair as he continued to hold me.

"As much as I wanted to save her, she just wanted to live her life without surgery. It took me a while to see that and accept her decision. Although I am glad she decided to have the surgery." I spoke through my tears, getting all that had been bothering me off my chest.

"Hearing you tell me you'd love me no matter what happens, touched me so much. I'm not sure I can even put that into words."

"There's no need," he spoke for me, "I meant it" I pulled away for a moment, smiling, "I love you, Sully. You let me be myself and that along with your love is a great gift."

"I love you too," he said softly as he kissed me gently on the lips, before bringing me close to him again. "There's no woman I would rather have as my wife than you."

"There is no man I would rather marry," I murmured back. I then paused in thought before speaking again, "You've always let me be free, to be my own person without judgment. I was so touched by your words to the children to let me decide whom to spend the rest of my life with."

"Your happiness meant so much more to me then, even with lovin' you so much. Last thing I wanted was to see you miserable."

"Oh Sully," I whispered as I snuggled closer to my fiancé.

"An' thank ya for lettin' me be me. Ain't easy when ya live in two different worlds."

"No its not," I agreed remembering how much my Boston customs had clashed with those of Colorado Springs. "From the moment you set me free at the homestead till now with Dorothy…" I trailed off feeling the tears forming in my eyes again.

"Shh...it'll be alright. It's all over now," he soothed as he felt my body tremble with grief. "It breaks my heart to see you like this. You try to be so strong and yet it's hard for you grieve so openly."

I was so touched my Sully's words to me that I couldn't find any to say in return. He truly is my strength and he's right, it is hard for me to grieve so publically.

"You're still that strong woman who came here to start a new life. Nothin's changed there," he said. I smiled to myself thinking of those same words echoed before our trip to Boston. "Some days are just harder to get through than others, and having you here gives me strength."

"I'm glad," Sully replied not wanting to let me go just yet, even though the hour grew late. "You give me strength too, to be a better man." "Oh, Sully I…" Every word he was speaking touched me so much that all I could do was lose myself in his embrace.

I let him hold me a moment longer, letting the warmth of his body wash over me. I always felt safe in his arms, and having him here with me is a blessing. "I should get some sleep," I said a moment later breaking our hold. "Good night, Sully," I whispered just before he placed a gentle kiss on my cheek. "Night," he answered back before slipping out into the darkness.

I tucked myself into bed, wrapping the quilt around my body as quiet thoughts passed through my mind, _Thank you for giving me a man who understands me and doesn't judge. I am grateful for him being my steady rock in times of trouble. It's been so hard with Dorothy, and as I much as I care about her, I am glad she made the decision she did. _


	2. Chapter 2

Colleen

The next morning I roused Ma from her deep slumber with the smell of breakfast cooking on the stove. "Colleen, that smells wonderful."

"Thanks, Ma," I answered back with a slight smile.

"What time is it?" Ma inquired

"Half past seven, I think."

_Oh dear, _I heard ma mummer to herself_, I really didn't mean to sleep for so long. Guess I was more tired than I thought. Best get up now. _"Thanks," she replied as she shed the warm quilt for her wrapper.

Just as soon as Ma rose, Brian came in all smiles. I could see he was carrying a basket his arms and remembered how much he had wanted to share his planting story with her, a moment later I heard them talking.

"Mornin', Ma," Brian called out as he came inside with his basket of eggs.

"Morning, Brian," Michaela replied with a smile as she brushed through her long auburn hair. I looked over for a moment and she seemed lost in her own thoughts. "Hey, Ma, I got somethin' to tell ya," Brian called out interrupting her thoughts.

"What's that?" she answered back, unsure if she was relived for the interruption or not.

"Sully helped me plant one of those acorns down by the creek. Said we can go back and watch it grow. Sure hope it grows real big."

"That's wonderful, Brian. I'm happy you gave the acorn new life." She walked over to her son and gave him a hug.

"I was thinkin', he continued, "that maybe Sully would let me plant one by the new homestead."

"I don't see why not," she replied. "Trees are wonderful things to have".

"Good," he replied before taking off to fetch his acorns.

"You look tired, Ma. Have you been feeling alright?" I asked once we were alone.

"I feel emotionally drained," Ma replied and then added, "I'll be fine. Thanks for asking."

I nodded in understanding, _Ma had wanted so much to operate on Miss Dorothy, and when she objected at first that was devastating. I'm glad she's gonna be ok though, after the operation and all._

"Ma, can I ask you somethin'?"

"Sure, what is it_?" _Ma inquired

"Jared and Becky asked me the other day to come down the creek with them to play a game. I dunno if I want to or not."

"Colleen, I don't want you to feel uncomfortable doing anything with your friends. When you're ready, you'll know it's alright to join them and have fun. Just try to make good decisions."

"Thanks, Ma. I will do that." _She always knows what to say to make me feel better and I love her for it. I hope she never stops being my mother even if I don't want her to be at times._

Once the bacon had finished cooking, I took it off the stove and placed the hot pan on the table with a cloth underneath, then got the biscuits out of the oven and put those on the table as well. _Breakfast smells so good, and I'm getting hungry all of a sudden. _Thankfully, Brian had left the basket of eggs inside. I picked through those and cracked the ones I wanted to use right into the frying pan.

While I was finishing up breakfast, Sully showed up. I watched as Ma opened the door and blushed as he smiled down at her. She's real lucky to have a found such a wonderful man. He never looks at anyone else or anywhere he shouldn't.

"Breakfast is ready," I called out minutes later, once the eggs had finished. Nice thing about a hot stove is whatever you put on it doesn't take as long to cook. I thought about how much I enjoyed having my family around me. Their love helped me get through a lot in life and for that I was grateful.

Brian was so eager to ask Sully about planting an acorn near the new homestead that I thought he was gonna burst with excitement. First chance he got the question was out, "Hey Sully, can we plant one of the acorns near the new homestead?"

"Sure," Sully answered between bites of egg.

"Thanks," Brian replied. "When can we go?"

"How 'bout after school one day, sound good?" Sully answered back.

"Sure does," Brian replied before I watched him clear his dishes and head off to get ready for school. I knew he'd be counting down the hours till the planting day came.

I was a little nervous about heading back to school. Jared would be looking for an answer and I'd best give him one. _Maybe I'll tell him yes, it would be nice to spend some time with him. On the other hand…never mind. If Becky's going maybe it won't be so bad_.

Colleen

I clutched my books in my arms as I watched Jared try and describe the game of knurr and spell. It seemed easy, just try and hit the knurr the farthest. Only thing I couldn't make out was how we were supposed to hit it with the spell.

"Sure is awful small, how are we supposed to hit it?" Alice asked arms crossed under her chest. "Wouldn't a bigger ball make it easier to hit? And sides having it dangle from a string isn't gonna to help much either."

"Easy," Jared replied with a confident smile. I think he was just tryin' to impress us with his skills. His attempt to get the knurr a far distance failed. I watched as he missed the first swing and on the second the knurr skipped a little ways down the path before landing in a small hole.

Paul and Alice laughed at him, "That all you got to show?" Paul asked.

"I've seen balls go farther than that," Alice remarked.

"Maybe you oughta try again," I suggested hoping maybe things might turn out better. It did look easy until you were the one swingin'. I remember Pa teaching Brian how to play baseball and watching him miss. Alice and Paul gave me funny looks as if to say, Are you serious? He's terrible. Thankfully Jared tried again and this time the knurr went much further.

"Alright, now it's my turn," said Paul seeming confident as he removed his jacket. I watched as he suffered the same fate as Jared on his first few tries. By the third try he'd hit it clear over the creek and into the bushes on the other side.

"Nice hit, Paul," said Alice seeming impressed. I could tell it was just flattery, but Paul ate it up. "Thanks, Alice." He was smiling like an idiot as he walked over and handed her the spell.

"Think they care for each other?" Becky whispered in my ear. I looked over at Paul and Alice, remembering the time she told Richard there was something in her eye and then kissed him. I shrugged and whispered back, "We know how Alice is, but I think Paul cares for her more." Becky smiled back at me in understanding.

I watched as Alice stepped up, taking careful aim with the long spell before she hit the small knurr a fair distance. She was smiling proudly at the end as if to say "_See boys, that's how it's done_."

"Nice job, Alice," Jared called out. He seemed to have forgotten his mishaps for the moment. Next thing I knew Alice was making her way towards me, "You're turn, Colleen." I set my books down and nervously took the spell from her. _Please don't let me embarrass myself_.

I walked over to where the knurr had been placed noticing at how small it was and wondering how I was gonna hit it. Alice made it look easy, and I hoped I could do the same. I carefully took aim keeping my eye on the knurr as I swung the spell back and then proceeded to hit it. I looked up and saw Alice, Jared, Paul, and Becky all looking up at the sky trying to follow the knurr to see where it would land. For a moment, I felt a sense of joy thinking I'd really hit it far; only to find out I had come just short of Alice's shot.

Becky was next, and she was all smiles as I handed her the spell. "You did good, Colleen," she said. "Hope I can to just as well." I tried to hide how I felt and answered as happily as I could, "I'm sure you will, Becky," I added and smiled slightly before she took off. I watched her not only hit the knurr; but the string it hung on, too. While it went a good distance, hitting the string had hampered things a bit.

"Guess I need to practice more," Becky remarked as some of the joy left her face. "We all do," I chimed in feeling the same way. Games are great fun, but when learning, there are bound to be errors. Alice, however, had clearly won the game by sending her knurr the farthest distance.

On the way home, Paul and Jared chatted endlessly about doing it again sometime soon. I walked quietly along with Becky wanting to only go home for some peace and quiet to read.

Brian

I came out of school carrying my books looking out into the meadow for Sully. He promised me he'd be there after school to take me out to the new homestead. I made sure I put my remaining acorns in my pocket before leaving for school.

"Sully," I called out as I ran towards him, a big smile upon my face.

"Ready ta go?" He put his arm around me as we started walking, Wolf close at our heels.

"Sure am," I replied, eager to get going. He led me over to the wagon and I climbed aboard while Wolf jumped up into the back.

"Hope ya don't mind if we work on the homestead a little after plantin'," Sully said as we started off. "I just picked up some lumber from Robert E that I wanna drop off."

"I don't mind," I answered back. He had been working hard on our new home and I was especially excited to be getting my own room. Sleeping inside with Colleen was too cramped and I much preferred the barn, but even things got pretty drafty there.

"Good. Where'd ya think you might wanna plant one of your acorns?" Sully asked me as we got closer. I dug in my pocket and pulled out the acorns I had left, staring at them for inspiration. _Maybe these acorns can talk to me like the Spirits do and tell me where to put 'em_.

"It's ok if you don't know yet," he added as if he sensed that I didn't have an answer just yet. I turned a smiled up at him, "Thanks."

The day was nice and I could see Sully had a good start on the foundation. Some months back things were marked with twine and posts, but now there was a hole with stones surrounding it. To one side I noted a place that jutted out. "Is that gonna be the chimney?" I asked.

"Sure is," he replied as he hopped down from the wagon. I took one more look and climbed down myself.

The boards were long and heavy to carry, but somehow we managed to carry them all from the wagon. We placed each board in a neat stack near the foundation. "There'll be a wooden floor inside," he told me, "But I'm not ready yet to put that in." "Can't wait to see it when it's done," I added and meant it.

As we sat, I looked out at the view in front of me. Endless land surrounded by mountains and valleys with trees. It was a beautiful sight, and soon I'd be waking up each morning to see it. "Where're ya gonna put the barn?" I asked out of curiosity. "Right there," Sully pointed straight ahead. "A little distance from the homestead but not far, and I'm plannin' to put a fence around it, too."

"Sounds great," I added as I tried to picture a large barn in front of me with a fence surrounding it. "Bet the horses will enjoy being outside when they can."

"Animals oughta be free to move about, wouldn't want to keep 'em caged up." Sully's words reminded me of the eagle I bought from Loren to set free. A caged up animal was certainly not a happy one. "These acorns probably want to be free, too," I said as I took them out of my pocket and got on my feet. He smiled at me as if he was thinking the same thing.

I walked over to where the barn would be and knelt down to put one of the acorns in the ground. Sully found a stick nearby for me to dig with, while he used his tomahawk. "'Fraid it ain't much of a hoe, but it'll have to do."

"Just so long as it gets in the ground is all that matters," I replied. "After all, we used a stick and your hands down by the creek."

"Sure did and it worked real well."

"Yep." I then plopped the acorn into the misshapen hole and helped Sully cover it back up. "Grow strong and big," I whispered before getting up and moving towards the homestead making sure I wasn't too close. When I got to where I wanted to be, I stopped and knelt down again. He was right there to help me dig another hole and put another acorn into the ground.

After we planted the last acorn into the ground Sully stopped and told me a story about a Coyote who Dances with a Star and how he was given several lives.* "Like the star in the story, you're givin' the acorn several lives. It'll grow up and give life to a tree, which'll then produce more acorns to be dropped and planted. You'll also be givin' the birds a home, too."

Unable to speak, I smiled at Sully and hugged him. Everything he said rang true, and I couldn't wait to see all the great things my trees were going to do.

Michaela

I was just finishing up at the clinic, putting the last of my papers away when he appeared at the door. "Sully, I wasn't expecting you…." I trailed off as he came all the way inside and closer to me, enough that I could look straight into the blue depths of his eyes and get lost in them. "Missed ya," he answered in a whisper, just before planting a soft kiss on my lips. "Missed you, too," I admitted shyly; as his arms enveloped me.

"Was out with Brian today at the homestead helpin' him plant acorns. Got me thinkin' about the trees that are gonna grow and all the special things that might happen under 'em.

"Special things?" My curiosity was peeked, and I sensed he was up to something. "Like takin' you out for a picnic under one, just the two of us." His words came out like a whisper on the wind, causing me to close my eyes in the moment as my senses took over. "That so?" My words sounded breathy, something I hadn't quite gotten used to yet. "Mmm."

"Would be kinda nice, dontcha think? Just the two of us, alone." _Alone_, I thought, as my memories shifted back to the time he rescued me from the dog soldiers. I could think of no one I wanted to be with more than him, and holding my battered and bruised body. "Maybe," I blushed as he placed another kiss on my lips.

"Just think about it, k?" That simple request coupled with the look in his eyes was difficult to argue with. "I'll think about it," I promised as I tried not to give in just yet. As much as I didn't want to be closed for a day, Sully had told me not long ago how he wanted to get back to courting. Maybe this would be a good chance for us to do just that.

He smiled at me, causing my face to flush all over again. "Maybe we'd best go," I stammered as I tried to gain my composure. "I'll just get my bag and coat."

"Sure thing," he answered as he stepped out of the way and allowed me to gather my things. As we exited, I spotted Colleen sitting alone on the bench outside. "Is something wrong?" I asked with some concern. "It's nothin'," she replied in what looked like an attempt to brush things off. There was clearly something wrong; and it didn't look like she wanted to tell me.

"Colleen, if something is bothering you, it's ok to talk about it. However, I do understand if there are things you would rather not discuss. I do want you to know that I am here if you need to talk."

"Thanks, Ma." I couldn't tell if she appreciated that or not, but she did seem more at ease, which was good. "How about we head home now?"

"Sounds good," she replied as I watched her get up and head towards the wagon. Sully and I followed and a moment later Brian ran up from the store and joined us. "Had to get something from Mr. Bray. I'm all set," he said in a rush of breath.

"Let's go home," Sully called out as he steered the wagon in the direction of home.

*Source: .


	3. Chapter 3

Colleen

"Ma, I need some advice." I said after the dinner dishes had been washed and put away. Brian had gone to bed, and Sully had left for the evening. "Sure, come sit." Ma patted the spot on her bed; inviting me to sit by her. "I wasn't ready to tell you earlier about my problem, but I think you were right. Somethin' is bothering me, and I dunno what to do about it."

I looked up into Ma's eyes and could tell she seemed concerned already and I hadn't even poured out my ordeal yet. "I went with my friends the other day to the creek, thought it might be fun and all. Turns out things were kinda awkward. Even though I had fun playing the game, I'm not sure I wanna do it again."

"I'm glad you went out with your friends," Ma spoke gently after I finished. "But why should you feel uncomfortable around them?"

"It's just things seemed a bit weird, maybe its 'cause this was the first time I've really hung out with Jared since…"

"It could be, but don't let that stop you from having fun. Some things in life take time. Maybe after a while you will feel different around him." I wanted to tell her that Jared wasn't the whole reason that seeing how Paul acted around Alice made me feel uncomfortable, too, but I wasn't ready to have that talk now.

"Puberty can feel strange and unsettling, even stressful." _Between growing breasts, getting my monthly, and having boys look at me funny it's all too much at times_, I thought. Ma continued, "You're just experiencing changes in your body that come with growing up. I suppose that can be awkward at times, too. Boys never really did pay much attention to me," she remembered, "since I was always studying or reading something."

"Sure was nice when Jessie paid so much attention to me, but sometimes when other boys look at me it just doesn't feel right." _Jessie made my heart beat so fast, and Jared just doesn't do that_, I mused. _Surely that doesn't mean anything's wrong. Look what Jessie ended up doing to me and my family._

"Colleen, it's natural to feel something for some boys and not others. Please don't let that worry you," Ma advised as she drew me in for a hug. Relief flooded through me, thank goodness. "I just wanna be able to hang out with my friends without feeling weird."

"Give it time, Colleen, and things should turn out alright in the end." I hoped she was right, my friends meant a lot to me, especially Becky, and I enjoyed having fun. Just not some of the fun Jared and them liked to have. Guess I was gonna have to be careful. "Alright, and thanks Ma for letting me talk things out."

"You're welcome," she replied as she gave me a gentle kiss on the forehead before I headed off to bed. _Sometimes I wish things weren't so complicated_, I thought as I reached my bed. _As a kid I didn't have many worries, and now it seems like I'm always frettin' about one thing or another. I hope Ma's right, too, that in the end things, will turn out for the best_.

That night I dreamed about Richard, the first boy I was friends with, but who liked me a whole lot more than I liked him. I wished I put a stop to that before it got started. Nearly losing Becky made me miserable. _It's no use fightin' over a boy, things always get messy_, I thought. Richard soon faded into Jessie who had seemed so charming. I felt so alive when I was around him, like I could do anything. Everything he said I hung on to, cherishing it until reality hit. It was foolish of me to have fallen for his charms. Yet I suppose every girl gets jilted.

Then there was Jared, who from the start seemed to have inappropriate thoughts on his mind. He seemed to be just like all the other boys, looking at girls in ways they shouldn't. _I hope I can find a man who treats me with respect and doesn't look at me funny_, I thought before the dream faded away.

At school the next day, I was grateful to see Becky, who was the one person I could really talk to about boys. "Hey, Becky," I called out as I made my way towards her. "Hey, Colleen, wasn't yesterday so much fun?" "Yah," I answered, not really meaning it.

"Jared and them are talkin' about doing something like that again," Becky went on as if she didn't notice my discomfort. "Will you come too?" she hoped.

"Sure," I replied, trying to sound just as excited as Becky was. _There has to be a way to shake this feeling and enjoy being with my friends_, I mused. "Is somethin' wrong?" Jared asked me after Becky had left.

_Nothing's, wrong, Jared, at least nothin' I'm ready to talk about yet_. "Nope," I answered hoping he'd leave me alone. He studied me for a moment as if he didn't quite believe me. "Alright, but I just want ya know it was fun spending time together the other day. You're really good at knurr and spell."

"Thanks, I had fun too." This time I meant it a little more. He wasn't prying; and I appreciated that. "Good, 'cause we should do it again sometime, don't ya think?"

"Yeah sure, sometime," I added, unsure what to say next. Thankfully, the Reverend started ringing the bell right then and saved me from having to stand there talking to Jared any longer. Things were getting awkward.

"What'd Jared want," Becky whispered to me the moment I sat down. "I saw you two talkin'."

"Nothin' much, just wants to spend some time again like we all did the other day," I whispered back. _ I don't want her to know how much he made me feel better; I want us all to be friends_.

"Good," Becky whispered back before the Reverend started the day's lessons. _Thank goodness for school; now I can focus on something else_.

The Reverend began class talking about Shakespeare, a poet from England who had written many plays. I remembered hearing about him from Ma; she's lucky to have read so many books. "I'd like to talk about one of Shakespeare's famous plays, _Romeo & Juliet_," he started off getting everyone's attention. "It's about a pair of lovers from feuding families."

"Is there sword fightin'?" Paul called out of turn. "That would be…" I noticed the Reverend give him a stern look, "That's enough for now, Paul. I suggest you all open your books to the first act and begin reading."

I opened up to the prologue and read that silently, trying to picture fair Verona in my mind. Any place that wasn't Colorado Springs seemed exotic to me. By the time the first act was finished, I felt myself dreaming of being Juliet. _Wouldn't it be wonderful to dress up in pretty clothes, dance with a handsome boy, and then share a special moment with him; sounds heavenly_. Thankfully, Becky was there to nudge me from my thoughts as our lessons for the day continued.

By the time school was over I was ready to go home and read more of the play myself. It had been hard to concentrate on math and science, but somehow I managed. Now I was on my way to help Ma at the clinic, one of the daily activities I looked forward to. Only thing I didn't count on was Jared following me.

"Hey, Colleen, can I tell ya somethin'?" I stopped and turned around. "What is it?" I already talked with him this morning and couldn't think what he wanted now. "I wanted to thank ya for the help you gave me in math, I'm getting' it a lot better." I noticed Jared looking down at the grass as a small blush crept up his cheeks. "You're welcome," I replied, happy to help and thankful the lessons were working out. When we first started, he couldn't even look at the figures. "Keep payin' attention and it'll get easier, promise."

"Thanks, Colleen," Jared replied with a relieved smile on his face. I watched him take off after Alice and Paul before I turned and headed into town. "Hey, Colleen," Becky called out. "Wait up." _Great_ I thought _another interruption_, only I wasn't about to turn Becky away. "Hi, Becky," I answered back as I stopped, and waited for her to catch up. "Seems Jared's been talkin' to ya an awful lot lately. Do you care for him?" _Care for Jared_? I wanted to shout out; NO! "He's my friend and nothin' else. ' Sides he was just thankin' me for helpin' him with math." Becky's had fallen some but seemed to recover by the time we reached the church. "I don't really like him or anything, but I know how he treated you and wanted to make sure, you know..." Becky's response puzzled me, "We are just friends, that's all," I answered back before she got any other ideas. "Good, 'cause it's been fun spending time with him and the others, too." As much as I resisted at first, I was beginning to think the same thing, "Sure is," I replied and felt a weight lift off me.


	4. Chapter 4

Michaela

I sat at Grace's sipping my hot tea carefully, in between bites of apple pie. There hadn't been a moment's peace all morning.

"_Dr. Mike, I gotta nasty blister on my finger. Hurts real bad," Horace said in a rush of pained words. "Come sit, and I'll take a look at it." I caught the smile he displayed as he walked over to the table and sat down. "So many telegrams coming in about the train an' all, usually this time of year I'm not sendin' out so many."_

"_Hold still, please," I said as I steadied the infected hand in my own, using a small knife to break the blister. "Ouch!"_

"_Sorry, Horace, give me a moment to put something on it, and then I'll bandage it up." I took a moment to go get chlorine water and a swab. He winced when it touched his skin, but looked relived. I then bandaged up his finger. "There you are, Horace, good as new, for now."_

"_Thanks, Dr. Mike," he replied as he handed me payment for his short visit. "You're welcome." After Horace left I thought I might have a moment's peace, but Hank came in._

"_Bottle broke during a fight, need to be stitched up."_

"_Have a seat." I went back to get another swab to clean the wound. It was bleeding profusely. The cloth over it had almost soaked through. When I pulled it away, I saw a long deep gash on the palm of his hand. "Hold still, this might hurt a bit."_

_Hank winced, and I could see him muttering words under his breath as the alcohol touched the open wound. I doubted they were pleasant. Once I got the bleeding stopped, I threaded my needle and began to stitch the gash closed and then finished by bandaging the wound._

"_Appreciate it," he remarked on his way out. "No problem," I responded. Last time I stitched him up he'd been far more demanding. Nice to see time had softened him some._

_Dorothy stopped by, too, looking as fresh and young as ever. "I wanted to come by and thank you," she said in a wavering voice. I waited a moment unsure of what to say, until she continued, "As much as you wanted to save me, I wanted to live my life, but over time a part of me wanted to live it without the cancer."_

"_Dorothy, I'm…" I trailed off unable to find the right words as tears welled up behind my eyes. "There's no need to say anything', we're both stubborn and want what's best. Truth is," Dorothy paused a moment, "I didn't want to die."_

_There was no way I could stop the tears now;, or the embrace that followed. My best friend would probably live to see many days, and for that I was grateful._

"_You're a good person, Michaela, and I thank ya for what you did, saving my life." I looked up at Dorothy, wiping the tears from my eyes, "You're welcome." She returned the smile. "How about we get some lunch at Grace's later that be ok?"_

"_Yes of course, that sounds splendid," I replied and meant every word._

I also had visits from several others with various ailments. Now that I finally had a moment's peace, it felt quite soothing. Lunch with Dorothy had been satisfying, and I felt so much better having done so. After everything that happened, we finally had a chance to talk.

"_Afternoon, Dr. Mike, Dorothy," said Grace. Anything' I can get you ladies? I got meatloaf on the menu and made some lemonade this mornin'. It's goin' fast."_

"_Meatloaf and lemonade sounds wonderful," I replied and Dorothy echoed the same words back. "Coming right up," said Grace as she took off to fill our orders._

"_Fresh air's just what I needed." Dorothy said. "It was gettin' so stuffy inside. Seems with the Ladies Nights Hank's started, there've been an awful lot-a people comin' inta town."_

"_Oh?" I asked surprised. "Though there did seem to be several women enjoying themselves the first night and I won't forget how nice Loren looked." Dorothy then looked at me and we both laughed. "The things men do, I tell ya."_

"_Here ya are, nice and hot," said Grace as she placed our fragrant food in front of us. "Thank you, Grace," I said._

"_You're welcome."_

"_I've been thinkin', Dorothy said, "maybe I oughta come by a little more often to have you check me. There've been others, like I said, but if I was to…" she trailed off unable to finish, and yet I somehow knew what she had been about to say._

"_Of course! "I don't mind giving you a bit of reassurance that things are ok," I answered back_

"_Thank you, Michaela, some days I dunno what I'd do without you." I found myself smiling up at Dorothy, and warmth filling my heart. I was truly blessed to have her has a friend._

"Michaela," a familiar voice called out softly to me, breaking the spell of my thoughts. "Sully," I nearly whispered as I looked up to find him sitting across from me. "Your looking tired," he said. My thoughts drifted back to my morning, "I am, busy morning," I answered as I took another sip of tea

"Anything I can get ya'll?" Grace asked as she stopped at our table. "Some lunch would be great," Sully replied, "and some tea, too." "Comin' right up," she smiled and was back moments later with his lunch of meatloaf, mashed potatoes, carrots, and a warm roll.

"Need anything' else, Dr. Mike?" Grace inquired. "No thanks, I'm fine," I replied. Lunch had filled me up with the pie, and tea was just the thing to chase everything down. She went off smiling to serve another customer.

I stayed with Sully as he ate, a part of me not quite ready to go back. "Feels so nice to be outside," I remarked softly. "Maybe it's time ya got away once in a while." Sully was right, and I had been thinking about his offer the other day. "Think we could spend that day together with a picnic basket under a tree?" I asked quietly, not wanting to draw too much attention. The smile he gave me in return made me nearly drop my tea cup; "Sure, we can do that." I smiled back feeling the heat rise in my cheeks.

Michaela

"Sully, this is a beautiful spot," I remarked as I took in my surroundings. "Everything is so peaceful."

"Sure is; I like it that way," he responded.

"Of course," I added looking up at him as my face flushed in the sunlight. "It seems like it's been years since I've spent time out by the water. We used to have picnics along the Charles. They were wonderful during the spring and summer; by fall it got too cold. That seems like so long ago now."

"I didn't spend much time picnicking at lakes. I was usually swimmin' in one and causin' trouble."

"Trouble?" _What kind of trouble did he cause? Not that I can picture him doing harm_…

"Typical boy stuff," came the reply. It seemed like I wasn't going to get a straight answer of out him. "Boys like ta splash and all. Girls didn't like it." _Ah, so there was an explanation_, I thought. "I was permitted at times to put my feet in the water, but that was all Mother allowed." "What about your father?" he inquired curious to see if he were any different. "I think he would have let me if I asked, though if he had and mother found out…well, he might not have been allowed back in the house."

"What'd ya say we take a swim?" he asked a moment later, coming close enough that I could feel his breath on my neck. "Now?" I asked hoping that perhaps we could sit here a bit longer. Besides I, wasn't so sure I wanted to…" Next thing I knew, my body was being lifted into the ai,r and amid my protests Sully dumped me right into the cool waters. I came up gasping for breath, furious that he'd done this, until I saw the look in his eyes. As much as I wanted to scold him, my body had already reacted, and there was nothing more to do than let him hold me, wet clothes and all.

"Guess our clothes'll have ta come off now," he murmured in my ear, sending shivers down my back. "Sully, in broad daylight?" I questioned trying to put off the inevitable. "Ain't no one here but us," he replied. "Sides it's not like this hasn't happened before." I looked up into his eyes, two seas of blue and found myself wanting to melt into them. _If only he knew how much seeing him barely clad makes my body react…and the time we had to jump in the river, he looked so_… "I suppose I should probably get these wet clothes off."

"Want some help?" he asked me with another one of those smoldering looks. "I…I…think I can manage, thanks." The moment I turned back for the shore I could feel my cheeks turning bright red. I knew his gaze had followed me, and he was watching me remove my wet garments, until I was standing in my chemise. _This is so embarrassing_, I thought until I remembered, _I was just like this after he rescued me before and I didn't care. Why am I such a mess now? I should be; I should_… "Thought ya might be cold," he said as his jacket enveloped me with the warmth left behind from his body. "Thank you," I whispered back as I turned to face him. "Can't have you shiverin'," he said. I let him hold me until my body felt warm enough that I could pull away.

"Maybe we'd best eat while your clothes dry. I brought some food from Grace's," he said breaking the moment we had shared. "Sounds wonderful," I replied as my stomach started to growl. "Good," he remarked as he headed towards the wagon. I watched him return with a quilt and a basket of food. He then spread the quilt down and I sat as he settled himself and began to set the food out.

"Grace made salt pork sandwiches with gravy, boiled potatoes, beans and some apple pie for dessert," Sully remarked as he took each item out of the basket. "Smells delicious," I said inhaling the scent of each dish. "She even put in some lemonade for us," he added a moment later with a smile. I watched as he set out each covered plate and then carefully poured the lemonade, before passing each to me.

I felt a little shy sitting there in nothing but my chemise and his buckskin jacket. He'd seen me in less at times, but that didn't mean I was completely comfortable yet. I bit into the pork sandwich; almost immediately I could feel a dribble of gravy slide down my chin and tried to catch it. Next thing I knew, Sully's gentle hand was wiping it away, causing my heart to flutter at how close he was. "Thank you," I murmured as my cheeks threatened to flush the longer I kept my gaze on him. "You're welcome," he answered.

"The food is delightful," I said trying to get my mind off the reactions my body was having to Sully's being so close. "Sure is and it's even nicer enjoying it out here with you." I didn't even bother to catch the second dribble down my chin as our eyes locked. Our lips met, and my world melted away, going back to the time he kissed the honey on my lips, sending those same sensations through me that had frightened me, yet another part of me didn't want them to stop. Sully stirred things inside me I'd never felt with any man, he made me feel free to love him and be the person I truly was, and that was a magnificent gift.


	5. Chapter 5

Part Five

Brian

Months had passed since Sully and I had planted the acorns. I'd been down to the creek with Pup to see the progress of the first tree. I had noticed the green sapling pushing up from the ground, and later on the thin trunk reaching towards the sky. I smiled each time I saw it, and even more so when a butterfly landed on it, spreading its wings.

The one I planted at the new homestead was growing tall and strong, representing a new beginning. It would be where my life with Dr. Mike and Sully would start, the place where I could show my little brother or sister the life I had planted. I was sad to leave the old homestead with memories of Ma, yet I was excited about moving and having my own room.

I was thinking about all of those things as I walked home from school, not really paying much attention to where I was going or what was in my path. "You seem lost my friend," Cloud Dancing said as if his presence had been known to me. I looked up, startled, "Just thinkin' is all," I answered. "Must have been good thoughts." I smiled, as he was right.

"I found some acorns, and Sully helped me plant them. One's growin' down by the creek and another near the new homestead. When we were done, he even told me a story about a coyote," I rambled on as he listened carefully to everything I said. "I've been back to see the trees—they're all doin' well."

"I taught Sully that what is important is the earth and the spirit of the people _is_ the people. You have done well, my friend, in planting new life."

"Thanks," I replied even more proud of what I'd done. "There is a place you should see," he said. "I will take you there now." I knew Ma might not like it if I didn't come straight home, but I thought she'd be relieved when she knew I was in good hands. "Sure, I'd like that," I said, as Pup and I followed Cloud Dancing further into the woods.

Along the way, I spotted a deer nibbling on grass and a bear rubbing against the bark of a tree. The deer reminded me of the one I had tried to save when Dr. Mike first came to Colorado Springs. Sully had also told me about bears although after the one Mr. Bray and I had encountered, I'd had my fill of them.

"You seem frightened of the bear."

"Brings back memories of trying to escape up a tree from one," I replied as I gave the bear one last look. "Best to stay out of their way," he replied. "Next time, make lots of noise and it will go."

"Thanks," I replied remembering how Mr. Bray and I had discovered that trick by accident.

Cloud Dancing and I walked through the woods till we came to a clearing; through it I could just barely make out dark shapes. "What's out there?" I asked, curious to know. "This is what I want to show you," he replied, "Come." I followed with hesitation, unsure of what I was going to find. When we emerged, I saw a vast meadow with buffalo happily grazing in the afternoon sun. Pup stayed quiet, not moving a muscle. I was worried he might take off.

Sully told me months ago about the white buffalo, Running Ghost. I'd been in awe of what I heard: an animal seemingly larger than life. Now I stood there overwhelmed at the sight. It was a tranquil scene, watching these great creatures graze. "I thought the railroad killed all the buffalo," I remarked, seating myself on the ground. "Not all. The Indian grandmother and the sky spirits have provided for us."

"Who are they?" I questioned, my thirst for knowledge was very keen.

"There is a story of three braves who were sent to explore a large cave. It was there they met the Indian grandmother who gave them buffalo meat. They returned with magic pans filled with the meat to share with the tribe. Everyone ate heartily. The next morning buffalo appeared near camp.* My people's fortune changed, and we have been grateful since."

I was in awe once again of the legends being told. Reading stories in books was so exciting; hearing them aloud was even more thrilling. I listened carefully as more of the White Buffalo legend was told to me. The voice of Cloud Dancing was calm, steady, and soothing. I found myself hanging onto every word, of how the White Buffalo protected them, and what the White Buffalo Calf Woman** had taught them. From her they had learned seven scared ceremonies with songs and traditional ways.

"One of these ceremonies was the vision quest. You are growing into a man; perhaps you, too, will go on one as your brother and Sully have done."

I swallowed wondering if I was ready to take a big step into manhood. Ma was frightened with worry when Matthew was on his vision quest—would she let me go? My brother had returned home changed; maybe I would try someday. For now, I was content to enjoy my surroundings.

"Thank you for bringing me here," I said, still in awe.

"You are welcome," he replied. "It is good for you to see this, as nature would want it, peaceful and in balance." I smiled up at my wise friend; I was thrilled to be shown something special.

"I must get you home now before your mother worries."

I reluctantly got up, motioned to Pup, and followed Cloud Dancing back into the woods. He was right; Ma would worry if I didn't show for supper. "Suppose I could come back here again?" I asked not wanting the memory to slip away. "You may. Nature is meant to be enjoyed." I felt a glow inside me and a sense of peace.

We walked along in silence, with Pup at our heels. I had so many thoughts running through my mind, the life I had given and the life I saw. It was one thing to hear stories of great buffalo, but seeing so many of the creatures in the flesh was beyond words. I was coming to believe they were sacred.

Pup alerted our presence with a whine and a bark as we returned home. Ma was beside herself with worry over me. She hugged me so hard it was embarrassing. When she let me go, I took off into the house and dropped my books and jacket on the bed before going to wash up. Supper smelled wonderful and my stomach was growling.

I splashed cold water on my face, letting it run down into my shirt. It felt soothing on my skin, what with having been out in the sun all afternoon. I grabbed the towel to dry off and saw Cloud Dancing heading back to the reservation. I waved to him. He had told me many stories today I couldn't wait to share with my family.

I was riding on Taffy, while Sully rode with me to school in the wagon the next morning. "Cloud Dancing showed me a special place. I think you should see it," I said.

There was a twinkle in his eye when I glanced over, "I'd like that." I smiled, grateful for the opportunity to share. "I don't think I'm gonna ever forget the sight of so many buffalo. They all looked happy."

"It's an honor to see so many. The spirits have blessed you."

"I just wish there was a way to stop them from being hurt. It's not fair." My gaze shifted downward. I had freedom to run and play—why couldn't the buffalo have that same right?

"Life isn't fair, Brian. Maybe you can write something in the Gazette about what you saw. The land needs protectin' an' so do the buffalo."

I perked up at this possible solution. "Think folks will listen?"

"They might. You never know until you try."

"Thanks, Sully. I'll ask Miss Dorothy after school about an article." As we continued, I started formulating in my head what I might say. Facts were essential, and so was a strong and convincing opinion.

"Good," Sully said. "I'm sure you'll write something great." I loved the thought of being able to contribute to the Gazette, and I sincerely hoped Miss Dorothy would let me do this.

"Sure thing," I answered before sending Taffy into a full gallop. I couldn't wait now for school to be over. This day had gotten off to a great start.

During recess, I wrote down points I wanted to make, careful not to insert anything too heavy on Indian legends. I wasn't sure folks would take too well to those. We all knew what men like Rankin were doing, killing off the buffalo. I wanted to stop that. By the time school ended, I was out the door, books slung over my shoulder, walking to the store.

"Miss Dorothy, I'd like to write somethin' for the Gazette," I said staring up with hopeful eyes. She gave me a questioning look. "What are you wantin' to say?" I took a deep breath, "I want to write about the buffalo and how wrong it is to kill them. They are sacred animals and ought to be protected."

"That's a big subject for a young man," she remarked as I felt my spirits sink a little. "But I am curious as to what you have to tell so I'm gonna let you write a short piece. Will that be alright?"

"Yes, Miss Dorothy," I answered, beaming with pride. There was nothing more I wanted than to share my voice. I wouldn't let her, or the buffalo, down.

*Origin of the Buffalo: cheyenne/cheyenne_

**White Buffalo Legend:


	6. Chapter 6

Colleen

I sat on a rock, my feet dangling below. My shoes and stockings lay on the ground beside me. Jared had invited us down to the creek for a swim after school. _I really don't want to get wet, not in my courses. All I feel like doing is going home to read_. He'd pleaded with me to come, saying it would be so much fun. "Come on, Colleen, you'll love it, promise." I wanted to roll my eyes at him, _fun for you maybe._ Instead, I reluctantly agreed to come along. This seemed to satisfy him. Deep down, I knew it would be a long afternoon…

Only when we got there, Paul and Jared had other ideas. "Who'll be the first to undress?" Jared challenged with a smile. "I'm in," Paul chimed back. I looked over at Alice and Becky, willing them to say no. Swimming was one thing but this? No, that would be awkward. "It'll be fun," Jared added as he pulled his shirt off. "Wait, Jared, no!" Alice called out just as Jared was about to shed the last of his clothing. None of us really wanted to see him that way although _he_ must not have cared. Next thing I knew, there was a big splash and a pile of clothes where Jared had been.

"Paul, don't you dare!" said Alice sternly as she glared at him. "You'll freeze." He suddenly went pale, as if he had been caught doing something much worse than undressing. "So? It don't matter. It'll be fun," he claimed, trying to brush off her attack. I watched Alice roll her eyes. Boys did stupid things. I was not about to swim naked in the cold creek waters. I watched her give them a glare before she walked off.

I turned to follow her, hoping Becky would come, too. I was not going to stay and watch. Paul and Jared were having a load of fun—I could hear them splashing and hollering at each other. "You feelin' alright?" Becky asked as we started for home.

"Yeah, I guess so," I replied. "It's just that…" She turned to look at me as I looked down at the folds of my skirt. "Some _days_, I just wanna be alone. Especially when..." I trailed off again. Growing up was so embarrassing at times. "Oh," she nearly exclaimed as the truth had sunk in. "I understand completely." I turned and smiled at my best friend. "Thanks, Becky."

"Sure looked fun out there," she remarked. "Yeah, swimming is fun, just not this," I replied.

"I don't know why they decided to go swimming without their clothes in front of us."

"Me either. Last time was better, playing a game and all," I said. Ma wasn't going to like it if she found out what I'd been up to. "Sure was," Becky added. "I like spending time with them, but this just didn't feel right." I turned and saw her nod in agreement. It was great to have a best friend who understood.

By the time I got home, it was late and Ma was fretting—I was reminded of her distress over Matthew when he'd been gambling—she was sitting at the table sick with worry. She looked upset and relieved all at the same time when I walked in. "Thank God you're home," she said, wrapping her arms around me. I wanted to tell her I was fine, that she didn't need to be bothered so much. Instead, I let her take my things, sit me down, and serve me supper. All the walking had made me hungry. The food was warm and satisfying so I ate without speaking.

"Brian said you went off with your friends to the creek. Did you have a good time?" she asked in a voice filled with concern and curiosity. "I did… um, it was okay." _There's no way I can tell her what happened, it's too embarrassing_. "Becky and I didn't stay long," I continued. "We ended up going back to her house for a while." _That wasn't exactly true either. Wish she didn't ask so many questions_. _How am I going to tell her that Jared found us on the way home? He even tried to kiss me…disgusting! Spending time with him is gonna be awkward._

"You weren't with Paul and Jared, were you?" _Oh no, how did she know_? "Why, what happened?" I was curious to see where this was headed. "It appears they decided to go swimming without any means of drying off and caught quite a chill." I looked down at my plate, "That so..." I murmured, trying to keep the emotion from my voice.

"Colleen," Ma said gently as her hand touched my arm. "I know what happened this afternoon. You need to be careful what you do with your friends, especially at your age. It's not good for a proper young lady to be seen doing improper things."

My face reddened as I stared down at my food. I hated that she knew, as I felt even more humiliated. Some things I just wanted to keep private, like this one. "Yes, Ma," I answered. "Just so you know, I didn't go swimming and neither did Becky."

"Good," she replied. "You don't want even a hint of a reputation for being loose. Next time you spend time with your friends, make sure an adult is present." I looked up at Ma, letting her words sink in. _No one saw us, or if anyone did, it was only Paul and Jared; the rest of us left the scene. Jared's advances towards me were less than flattering and a subject I didn't want to visit_. "I'll be more careful," I promised hoping to end the conversation though I couldn't help wondering how she'd found out.

"You're a smart young lady with a bright future. Sully and I want the best for you and Brian. Please be careful out there in the big wide world." I looked up at Ma again. Did I hear her correctly? With all the dangerous things she'd done, I was surprised at her words. Then again, I recalled my efforts to get Sully to save me and realized they hadn't been the best-laid plans. "I will," I replied as she smiled, wrapping her shawl around her shoulders before getting up from the table. I quietly finished my dinner before turning in for the night.

"I gotta talk to you." I looked up to find Jared looming over me.

"There's nothing to talk about," I replied, a part of me still angry with him for yesterday. Ma's words to be careful came flooding back.

"Colleen, don't fight me on this."

"Fine, sit down," I sighed. I really didn't want to be seen with him right now, much less talk under the kissing tree of all places—too many uncomfortable memories.

"I'm sorry for the way I acted yesterday. It was wrong of me to do that to you," he said with sincerity in his voice.

"All I wanted was to be friends with you," I responded, "not whatever you decided I am to you. I won't be treated like that either." He looked shocked at my words. I was glad I'd said them. I never wanted to go back to the days when he didn't look me in the eye and his hands roamed. I watched him nervously rub his palms on his pant legs. "Okay," he replied in what was almost a whisper. "I'll behave myself around you."

"Good," I answered back. If he made one false move, he and I were done being friends. I gave him a small smile as he stood up and took off toward the meadow.

I sat there a bit longer, settling myself under the tree with a book in hand. We were assigned to read _Romeo and Juliet_, and I figured I ought to get a head start. Once the prologue was done, I slowly became engrossed in the story. Shakespeare's words stirred me, and I could feel the emotions between the young lovers, who cared for each other no matter what happened. I'd seen that with Ma and Sully many times. They'd gone to the ends of the earth for each other and not rested till the other was found. Maybe one day I could find such a man. For now, I was content to enjoy my reading and dream.

"Hey, Colleen," Becky called out. "Wait up." I turned around watching her running towards me, books in hand, hair flying. "Seems Alice and them aren't paying much attention to us anymore." I tried hard to catch everything she said, her breath coming out in spurts.

"Alice hasn't exactly been the nicest person to us," I remarked as we walked toward town. There was a time when all she did was boss us around. "I'll never forget the time she tried to tell us what fabric to buy for our dresses," Becky added. "Maybe we're better off without her."

"I'm glad we have each other—you've always been my best friend."

"Thanks, Colleen. You've been a wonderful friend to me." I smiled; she was the one friend I could count on. "How is your reading coming along?" she asked. "I haven't read much."

"Pretty good, I've finished Act One, and I'm heading into Act Two. I really love it; Shakespeare has such a way with words."

"Think we can read it together?" she asked as we approached the edge of town. "Sure," I replied. "It'd be fun." I noticed the smile in her eyes before I headed to the clinic. Ma would be waiting for me to help. "Great," she answered. "How's tomorrow?" I turned back around, "I'll be there, Becky," I answered before stepping up onto the porch.

I let myself inside and was grateful to see Dr. Mike sitting at her desk working. "Ma, do you have a minute?"

"Sure, Colleen, Is there something on your mind?"

"I want to thank you for the advice you gave me. Becky feels the same way I do, and, well, Alice and those guys don't seem to want to be friends with us," I replied, hanging up my shawl and putting down my books.

"I'm sorry to hear that. You all seemed to enjoy spending time together." Ma might feel bad, but I didn't miss the relief in her voice. "Maybe it's for the best right now," I added. "'Sides, Becky invited me over tomorrow to read _Romeo and Juliet_. I love it so much, and Becky's going to get caught up tonight."

"That's great," Ma said with a smile in her voice. I was thankful to have her to talk with concerning just about anything. She was right, it was wonderful to have friends to spend time with and study with. "I can't wait to read it with her; we'll get even more out of it that way."

"Just make sure you study and not talk too much about other things," she added with a smile and a wink. I nearly choked and tried to suppress a giggle, imagining Ma skipping her studying. She was much too serious about her studies. "We'll be too enthralled with the play to think of anything else to talk about."

"I'm proud of you, Colleen. You're turning into a fine young lady who is already starting to make wise decisions and choices." I beamed and gave her hug. She was the reason I wanted to be a doctor, and she was also a mother I knew I could always count on to be there for me.


	7. Chapter 7

Michaela

I dreamed it was I who had developed a lump in my breast instead of Dorothy. Only this time it was a blurry face with a kind voice telling me the awful news. I couldn't breathe knowing how deadly a disease cancer is. It took the life of my friend Sam, and I feared it would take mine, too.

"_Is there anything that can be done?" I asked trying to find hope. "An operation removing your breast along with the growth," he answered. "There are risks involved, and it's possible the cancer may have spread throughout your body." I sat there quietly staring into my lap wondering what to do. Do I put my life at risk, or do I take my chances and try and save myself? So many questions were swirling through my head that I had to get out of the clinic. "I'll think about it," I answered as I walked over to grip my shawl, open the door, and exit the clinic._

_This can't be happening, not now. I'm to be married in May. What will Sully think of me? Will he think I am less of a woman with only one breast? Can he still love a woman who has… I paused in my thoughts to mount Flash. Maybe a good ride would clear my head. "Take me home," I whispered into her ear. She perked up almost immediately before she carried me over the bridge into the meadow and beyond, gaining speed as we got further away from town._

_I could feel the wind through my hair, smell the woods around me, and hear the steady beat of Flash's hooves on the ground. She had understood me so well from the first time we met, I was grateful to have her with me. I wasn't sure how long we'd been heading towards home when Flash stopped in a clearing near a waterfall. The water cascaded down in a peaceful rhythm, and birds flew in and out as I sat in the saddle staring at the beauty in front of me. While this wasn't home, I was mesmerized by the scene in front of me. It looked as if an artist had painted it rather than its having been created by Mother Nature. I was in awe._

_Dismounting, I moved closer to the edge of the water, wanting to have a cold drink. The pool was clear, and as I kneeled on its bank, several small fish swam by. They glistened in the sunlight and left ripples in their wake. I drank from my cupped palms, luxuriating in the feel of the liquid down my dry throat. After I had my fill, I got up and went to thank Flash. This wasn't home, but I did so appreciate the peaceful moment._

_I reached her just as a hand enveloped mine, causing a gasp to form at my lips. "It's just me," a familiar voice said. "Sully," I breathed trying to hold my emotions in check. He looked so happy, and seeing him made my heart swell and tears well up at the same time. "How did you find me?" I asked._

"_Hank said you'd left town in a hurry, and I followed Flash's tracks," Sully answered as he came around to take me in his arms. "Stopped by the clinic first, but the doctor said you'd left. Is there somethin' you wanna tell me?" I let his question hang in the air—how could I tell him? And when? Now, when we were enjoying each other's company? Or later, in front of the children? Neither were to my liking._

"_I received some news—it's not so good," I answered trying to keep the tears from falling. Knowing my life with him might be cut short was too much to bear. "The doctor found a lump in my breast, it might be…" I couldn't get the words out and let all the tears I'd been holding back fall. "I'm so sorry," I sobbed. "This is all so sudden, and I don't know what to do."_

"_Shhh," Sully soothed. "Everything's gonna be all right. You just need some time to work it out." I wanted to believe him, I truly did. But how? My emotions felt like they were on a runaway train. "I never expected something like this to happen."_

"_Course you didn't," Sully assented. "Bad things happen, and you've had your share of 'em. But each time you've gained strength and done the right thing. No matter what you decide, I'll support you."_

_I whipped the tears from my face, "You will?" I asked. "Even if I have an operation, you won't look at me any differently?"_

"_Michaela, I will love you the rest of my days. Nothing is gonna change that, not even an operation. You'll still be the same woman who came to Colorado Springs all by herself and the same woman I fell madly in love with."_

"_Oh, Sully," I breathed, falling into his arms all over again. His arms enveloped me once more, the warmth from him coursing through me. I felt safe and strong with him by my side._

"Michaela," Sully whispered.

"Hmm…" I murmured.

"We should probably head back home. It's getting dark." I slowly opened up my eyes and saw that indeed night was falling. As I sat up, I quickly realized I was wearing nothing but my chemise and his jacket. For a moment, I wondered how I had gotten this way until I looked around. I saw our clothes drying and the leftover picnic lunch we had shared.

"How long have I been asleep?"

"After lunch, you let me hold you, and next thing I knew, you were sound asleep." I blushed at the thought. "It's nothing to be embarrassed about." I looked up into the blue depths of his eyes, my voice momentarily gone as I gazed at him. "I suppose not," I whispered as his lips met mine. "Good."

I arose and walked over to gather up my clothes. They were mostly dry now so I carefully put each one back on. It wouldn't do for me to walk back into town wearing almost nothing. "You've arrived in town wearing as much before," Sully remarked as he gathered up the remains of our picnic. He was right— after having been kidnapped by dog soldiers and rescued in clothes, all I'd come back wearing was my chemise and a shirt. "I was too exhausted to care about my appearance then." He smiled over at me just as I was finishing dressing. I could feel my face blush a little.

I sat at my dressing table staring into the mirror, my thoughts drifting back to my dream. I had been so insistent for Dorothy to have the operation that now I finally had an idea what it was like to walk in her shoes. I was so scared and shattered at the thought of having a deadly disease. As a doctor, I dedicated my life to saving others, only for a while it seemed it was I who needed saving.

Sully found me lost in thought with my brush held in my hands. I could feel his gentle touch removing it from my grasp. He wasted no time in removing the tangles from my hair. Each stroke felt like heaven, slow and smooth. I wanted so much to lean into him, to give myself over to the desires burning through me. "That feels wonderful. Thank you, Sully," I whispered into the air sounded breathless. "You're welcome," he answered softly.

I seized his hand as he came around to face me, "I was thinking about a dream I had this afternoon. I was the one with the cancer, not Dorothy. It was so frightening, my feeling as if my life was ending far too soon. It made me realize how scared she had been. I tried to run from it, but Flash led me to you. You told me you'd love me for the rest of your days and how I was still the same woman you fell in love with. I'm sorry it took me so long to really believe all you said. I love you more than anything and can't imagine my life without you."

Sully kissed me softly in the candlelight, sending warm sensations all through my body. I wanted to pull him closer, but he broke off the kiss, his lips still wet and swollen. "I'm glad the Spirits guided you on the right path. Sometimes, things in life ain't clear until we take a step backwards. I will always love you, Michaela."

"I suppose you're right even though I'm not sure I believe in spirits all the time." We all had different beliefs in this world, and while I respected his, there were times when I found myself questioning those spirits. I wasn't as quick to believe in them as Sully was, yet he loved me just the same. "I know I can always count on you to be there, even if you appear in a dream, and for that I am grateful."

"I'll always try," he answered softly. "I'd do anything for you and the kids, you know that."

"Of course," I replied, smiling as I stood, letting him embrace me, and enjoying a moment of safety before our parting for the evening. "Goodnight," I whispered as he kissed me one last time. "Goodnight," he replied before disappearing down the path away from the homestead. I watched as he left, savoring the moment and the warmth he filled me with, until sleep beckoned.

_Sully led me over to the cropping of rocks near the falls, inviting me to sit down. "Wanna go for a swim?" he asked with a smirk. It wasn't often we had time alone, and I could see the fire in his eyes. "It's cold," I objected, "I'd rather sit here," though it was difficult to ignore those deep blue eyes and that handsome face staring at me—my body was already reacting._

_I blushed at the sight of him in just his buckskin pants with his chiseled chest as he stared straight at me. "I'll make sure you're warm." I could no more say no than find a way to walk on legs that refused to move. He effortlessly removed the clothing from me, leaving me in just a chemise. I shivered just before he embraced me._

_He was careful in his movements, carrying me in his arms as he walked into the water. It pooled around us, sending a chill right through me. "Sully," I tried to protest just before he lowered me into the water. His arms came around me, holding me close as I clung to him for safety, for warmth. "I've got you, don't worry."_

_I slowly relaxed in his embrace, letting my body tell me everything would be all right. He lead me over to a place where we could stand, making sure I had my footing. "This is a beautiful spot," I murmured as he pulled me close. "Sure is."_

"_I've been thinking how much I don't want my life to end, and if there is that small chance that I can save it, I'm going to. Being out here with you has made me realize how much I don't want to let go. I can't let something terrible stop me from being happy. When we get back to town, I'm going to tell the doctor I want to have the operation."_

"_I'll be there with you each step of the way. We'll get through this together. It's us now, and I'm gonna to do everything in my power not to lose you. I love you so much."_

"_I love you, too," I answered back as his lips met mine amid the warm sunshine. Being here with him had brought peace and harmony where there was once discord. Whatever happened we were in this together.__ "I love you too," I answered back as his lips met mine amid the falling sunshine. Being here with him had brought peace and harmony where there was once discord. Whatever happened we were in this together._


End file.
